We have a lot of experience with relationships.
This has been our work since before there was such a thing as online dating. We’ve learned a few things.
What We’ve Learned
Online dating hasn’t lived up to its promise.
Fulfilling relationships have foundations in compatibility. Pretty faces and profile factoids are not only unreliable windows to a person’s character, but they can actually obscure it. This is the problem with online dating. Swiping and chatting divert you from the discovery of worthwhile people. You live in a world of first impressions, which can’t be trusted from the start, and in any event, fade quickly in a relationship, as you replace them with the person you come to know.
Think of the most important people in your life. Are they pretty or handsome? Chances are you can’t even tell, because you can no longer see them through objective eyes. What you see has been replaced by what (or who) you know.
Furthermore, online dating starts every relationship in a toxic way. No one knows each other. Everyone is shopping profiles of strangers, so everyone is a product and every interaction a job interview. It’s a shame. Can soulmates really emerge from such a beginning?
Online dating should have broadened your pool of potential partners and enabled you to zero in on the one for you. Instead, for many people it has squandered their time and emotional energy in games and rituals and possibly robbed them of years of happiness with the ones for whom each is a perfect fit.
It seems obvious, but from the first words you exchange with a new acquaintance, you begin to replace the irrelevant first impressions with your glimpses of the real person beneath. The sooner you begin this process, the better. Matchmaking is all about face-to-face meetings. Your matchmaker does the legwork of finding and screening your matches, saving your participation for just the face-to-face part.
In fact, here's some free advice. Whether your encounters come from matchmaking, chance meetings, or online dating, instead of initiating a chat or email exchange with new acquaintances, ask early on “can we talk?” Endeavor to know the person, not the profile. That’s the important thing.
Consider working with a professional.
Very few of us question the wisdom of seeing a doctor, a lawyer, or an accountant when the need arises. Yet many people leave to chance one of their most consequential efforts in life; finding their partner to spend it with. If, in some kind of science fiction time-traveler scenario, you were able to find, initiate, and develop a lifelong relationship with your soulmate many times; you’d certainly be better at it the tenth time than you were the first time, but no one gets to do that more than once or twice in a lifetime. A Professional Matchmaker might play their part in such a relationship a hundred times. Expertise. Again, a no-brainer.
Oh, and NEWSFLASH: a big part of finding a worthwhile person is becoming a worthwhile person yourself. Professional matchmakers also offer personal and relationship coaching to help you cover the ground you need to be the person the person you want wants. (That’s a tongue-twister, but say it again slowly. It’s an important point.)
What we do.
We are not an online dating company. We are a portal to a nationwide network of independent professional matchmakers. Modern Professional Matchmakers leverage technology and the internet to enlarge their pool and increase their effectiveness, but they still screen every client face-to-face, so you need to connect with a local matchmaker. If you’re near a major city in the United States or Canada, Professional Matchmaking is probably an option for you and we can help you get started.
You just complete our QuickStart questionnaire and based on factors like your age and where you live, our system will instantly recommend a local matchmaker for you. That’s it. You get a free consultation with the matchmaker and engage their services if you feel it’s right for you. It doesn't cost you anything to use this website and you are not obligated in any way.
By the way, if there’s no matchmaker we can recommend in your area, we’ll tell you that and give you a free trial with an online dating company.
If you’re ready for the QuickStart questionnaire, Click Here.